Waiting

At my last medical check-up to help discover the cause of my impotence, which if not the cause of my depression was its trigger, the nurse said "you will have lost this weight in a year - it's not that long to wait".

If I knew that at the end of my wait, at the end of all this sadness, all these tears, all this loneliness, there was something, then I could bear the sadness and the dread a lot more easily.

More than anything it's the waiting without a reason to hope that I'm finding unbearable.