Friday 7 August 2009

The Giantess Childbride

I've just been walking around Salford and onto the southern edge of Salford Shopping City (the Precinct, Ian, next to what used to be Woolworths) when I saw a very tall and sturdy young woman walking towards me wearing what I can best describe as a short grey sarong and white cotton blouse, with a huge red poppy in her hair just above her left ear. I think it was this way of dress plus her being quite heavily made up that stopped me from realising until it was too late to acknowledge her, that it was the Giantess Childbride. That and her presence on Salford Precinct of all places. God knows how many times I've talked to her and yet I've never found out her real name.

I turned round and started to catch up with her and then realised I would have to follow her past derelict crofts and empty carparks and streets and would end up looking like a rapist.

I know she used to live on Salford Quays, and she was walking in the right direction to get there, and the Metrolink is down for a month so she might just be walking home from work, wherever that is these days.

I've even had erotic dreams about her, in which she was called Mary-Jane, although being American she's just as likely to be called, oh, Madison, or Courtney, or Krystal, or something else laughable.

Not that it matters really, she was only in her twenties and she's married. At my age all the good ones are long married or in relationships, and all that's left are the female versions of me, the ill-favoured, the fat, the misfits, the hapless, the doomed.

I was about to type "where were all the tall women when I was her age?", and then realised what a dumb question that would be given what I've been writing about here lately.

The funny thing is that H has spoken to her, but won't remember her at all, because it was in a shop where the Giantess Childbride was working at the time.

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