Sunday 27 December 2009

Bang! You're Dead

When one tells a Doctor or a Mental Health Professional that one has practically considered suicide, which is to say one has a plan by which to end one's life, they give one a list of contact phone numbers and instructions on how and to whom to present oneself at the A&E Department of a Hospital should one reach that extremity again in future.

The list and instructions are a futile gesture - one does not plan suicide in order to cry for help, then one merely plans a failed suicide. One plans suicide to put a subjective end to the World, to from an unbearable and inescapable source of pain by ceasing to be, because when the self ends, the pain ends, and subjectively the World has never existed because the Self and its memories are gone utterly and irretrievable.

That time comes anyway, so better to make it a friend and a servant than await it through more sad and empty years as a feared enemy.

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